Today was hard...emotionally

Yesterday and today have been so hard on me emotionally.  I deal with depression as I've said before, and there have been a few events happen that have triggered my depression.  I do take medicine for it, but it just hasn't seemed to work.  Very close friends of mine have gone through a very similar situation regarding their dad, they had to go through the hardest thing in life today, and watch their dad take his last breath in the hospital.  He had a major heart attack, and didn't recover.   This just brought up all the memories from the day my dad got into his car accident, and every single emotion I felt that day.  These are memories I try to surpress, because I never can physically handle the sadness I get from it.  I've had a hard time these past couple days, and this has actually made me realize how much I actually turn to food for comfort.

Today I slept in later so I didn't have breakfast shake, but I did have a lunch shake.  I fixed a stir fry with peanut curry sauce for dinner, I'll have recipe below.  It was my first time making a stir fry, and so I didn't think it turned out as great as I would have hoped.  But the sauce was great, and I do plan on making it again in the future, just add more veggies then what I had in the house!  Last 2 days though, I've been getting hungry about 2 hours after I eat dinner.  Last night it happened and tonight it happened.  I did give in and ate.  I heated up 3 tortillas and put leftovers of my squash and spinach chicken mix I had from last week's squash ravioli, and tonight I heated up tortillas and smashed some black beans and put some Tapatillo sauce on it.  So it's not like I was eating horrible foods, but I shouldn't have eaten so late at night. I'm thinking this is my depression, because I haven't dealt with this issue before yesterday when all this stuff started happening.  I'll have to get in touch with my Doctor and maybe have her readjust my medicine.  Depression is no joke, and I truly hate having to live with it!  

Earlier in the day while Skyla was taking her nap, I was sitting in the dark on my computer watching youtube videos, and was just feeling so so sad.  My chest actually hurt from the pain I was feeling in my heart (If that makes sense)  I decided I needed to release some stress, and turned on Daily Burn!  I did a 20 min. Interval Ab workout, and about 15 mins of a Bollywood dance workout.  I would have done more of the dance, but I just felt like I was making a lot of noise, and I have downstairs neighbors now, so i kind of felt bad.  I'm so glad I did this though, it helped me calm down and release some bad energy.  Now that I think about it, I should've done some Yoga! What the heck Kylah lol.  Maybe tomorrow I can try Yoga!  

I don't know why it's taken me so long to look this up, but today I finally found an Herbalife fitness club....I think that's what it's called.  Pretty much it's where they make shakes you can go and buy and I think it comes with tea as well.   I think this is perfect for me on days I may be out and about and need a shake, or I've just thought about going just to try different flavors I don't have and see if  I'd want to spend money on getting that flavor mix to have at home.  It never hurts to be around other people who are doing the same thing as you, they know your struggles and hurdles.  They also have a weight loss competition I might join....miiiiiiiiight.  I don't know the full details on it just yet, but it did catch my attention.  Depends on what all is involved, you know me, I'm not super social lol.  

That's really all the new things that happened today.  To be honest my head is a little foggy because of everything that's happened, and all the things that have popped up into my head over the course of the last 2 days, it's hard for me to focus on little details of the day.  I think I covered it pretty well though!  Until tomorrow loves

Dinner Recipe:

Red Curry Peanut Sauce (gluten-free + vegetarian with vegan option)makes about 2 cups

1 – 13.5 ounce can unsweetened light organic coconut milk
2 tablespoons red curry paste
1 tablespoon gluten-free fish sauce*
1 tablespoon coconut sugar (you could also use brown sugar or raw sugar)
1/3 cup natural chunky peanut butter (creamy will work, too)

Red Curry Peanut Vegetable Stir FryUse your favorite stir-fry ingredients. This is just to show you how I served mine
serves 4

2 teaspoons sesame or peanut oil
1 head of napa cabbage, about 1lb, cleaned and sliced thin
1 bell pepper (I used yellow, red would work as well), sliced thin
1 clove garlic clove, minced
1 stalk lemongrass, finely chopped
1/2 inch piece ginger, minced
8 oz sliced mushrooms
large handful of cilantro, roughly chopped
green onions, sliced thin
1/4 cup roasted peanuts, roughly chopped
6 ounces thin rice noodles, cooked according to package directions and drained

*Alright so I kind of left out a lot of things because I didn't have them lol here's of what I left out: Fish sauce,napa cabbage, lemongrass, mushrooms.

Next time when I make this dish, I'll definitely add more veggies.  Really the only veggies I had were yellow bell pepper and I added some broccoli.  I like crunch in my stir fry from veggies!  But the sauce was very yummy! It was kind of spicy, but not overbearing, I think next time I'll add another tablespoon to make it more spicy :-)

Link to full recipe:

http://tasty-yummies.com/2012/02/25/red-curry-peanut-sauce-vegetable-stir-fry-gluten-free-vegetarian-with-vegan-option/