I'm pretty disappointed in myself in the last few days. I've mentioned before that I deal with depression, and I never know when I'm going to get hit hard with it. Well it happened Thursday and lasted all weekend! When depression hits, my energy is drained. I literally feel like doing nothing, I don't want to leave the house, I don't want to talk to anyone. I just slip into my own world and tune everyone out, and seclude myself (as much as I can with a kid). The hard part is knowing that I do all this, and not having the ability to stop feeling that way! For the most part I stuck with my herbalife routine, and if I didn't I ate healthy, except for yesterday. Yesterday turned into not caring what I ate at all, and I'm paying for it today for sure! I did my BABB program Friday, but I was limited in just that because my muscles from my rib still bothered me, and I barely made it thru that without being so sore. Saturday and Sunday my muscles ceased up and I couldn't relax them at all. I felt like I was walking around shrugging my shoulders all day, I didn't know how to release the muscles....and I'm a massage therapist!!! I even had my hubby try to massage it, but despite his awesome effort, it needed a professional. I tried making a massage appointment, but it was too short notice, no one had a Sunday evening appt. So all that on top of my depression this weekend I just felt like a big mess.
I try not to get disappointed in myself in this whole process, because despite all of this, I'm still in a better place then I've ever been health wise. I've never stuck to eating healthier for so long. Even if it's not every single meal, it's still more than I've ever eaten healthy before. I just don't think I'm pushing myself enough! I've stopped going to my gym here, and just been doing my home programs. Which at least I'm doing stuff, but I haven't been doing as much cardio at all, and I know I NEED to get that in to help with this whole process. My friend and I had talked about meeting up during the week and going to a park walking track and walking with our kids, but I haven't gone yet because honestly I have a weird fear of leaving the house. Yesterday I got ahold of 2 of my friends to make definite plans to get together to walk or go to someones house to do zumba or SOMETHING so that I will just force myself out of the house on a regular basis. It's weird most people die to get out of the house, but I just have my comfort zone here, and I swear I'm a hermit. I used to not be this way, but it's gotten worse since moving to Texas away from most my friends and all my family!
Today I'm getting back on track on the shakes, and my hubby is going to help me with everything else. He's trying to lose a little weight too, so he's going to hold himself and me more accountable now. It's easier when I have that support behind me saying "NO let's not get that, let's eat healthy". Sometimes I'm good on my own, but other times it's hard when you're staring at the delicious food someone else has and you're eating grilled chicken and veggies. It's a struggle everyone has to go thru I guess when they're going thru this process, but it's hitting hard for some reason right now. I just need to get more exercise in....I feel like that'll help me feel better about myself even if I do eat bad. So that's my weekly goal right now, workout this week atleast 5 days! I'm going to set weekly goals so I can be sure to stick with it. I'll put my schedule I plan to stick to down below.
I also took my measurements today....FINALLY! I should've done this in the beginning because I know I've lost inches since first starting, and I reeeeeeally would've liked to see the difference. But I didn't, so here are the first stats on the measurements.
Arms: L-12" R-12"
Waist: 37"
Stomach: 40"
Hips:42 1/2"
Booty:44"
Thighs: L-24 R-24"
Those are some big girl measurements! I do know that I've lost about 2" in my waist, because before I started I got a 40" bra, and now it's too big for me. In one way it's annoying because I just invested in a nice victoria secret bra, but I can't be too mad at it because I lost weight in that area so I'm good lol. I'm not happy at all about the stomach and hip measurements tho. I have a lot to work on with those! The thighs I don't mind as much, I actually have no problem with my thighs other than the fact that they need to be toned up to get rid of that jiggle and dimples :-P I'm hoping my BABB program will help with that tho!
Ok that's all I have to post today. I'm just going to try and get back in the groove of things this week and hold myself more accountable for missing any workouts and eating crappy foods. I try not to be super hard on myself, but I think I need to be harder!
Here's my workout schedule for this week:
Monday: BABB/Abs
Tuesday: Cardio/Arms
Wednesday: Cardio/Abs
Thursday: BABB
Friday: Arms/Cardio
Saturday: Cardio/Abs
Sunday: Rest
~Kylah~
Wow. I feel ya more than you know. I had that whatever I want to eat day the past 2 days. It sucks. Honestly, I feel like it's inevitable, but over time becomes less and less. I think the key is not fully giving into it, and just getting right back on track. I feel for ya darlin. I don't think you need to be harder on yourself, but I will say this, the more your body has those refined sugars and calories, the more it craves it. So limiting the number of "cheats" or times you give in is definitely important, just because it makes it more difficult on you. Something I'm constantly having to work on. Just keep truckin. You CAN do this.
ReplyDeleteThank you :-) I am trying to work on the whole "cheat meal" thing again. I fell off my schedule since being back from visiting my mom. This week I'm getting back on track which is almost as hard as first starting. I don't crave bad foods as much, but they're creeping in more then I'd like.
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