Well here it goes...again

Man I really need to stop re-starting this whole journey!  I feel like I get on a roll with it and then something knocks be back for a few weeks so I feel like I have to re-start it again.  Pretty much ever since I got back from my Denver trip I just haven't been doing great.  The 2nd week after I was back I literally went every day and just did cardio.  I was actually feeling great and kind of worked out a new stradegy for my weight loss, but then after that weekend I just didn't go and haven't gone since.   I'm pretty sure I've mentioned it before, if not I'll say it now, I deal with pretty severe depression.  Since I was 19 I've been on medication for it, and I really can't be off of it anymore without getting to a dark place.  I've always been the kind of person that doesn't like that idea of medication, and as much as I tried to deny the fact that I needed to be on meds for my depression, I really do need to be.  I started out on the lowest dosage there is (10 mgs) and unfortunately I have an appt. to go tomorrow to get on a higher dosage.  I've pretty much been in a "funk" since being back from my trip and I honestly don't know why, and I don't know why I can't shake it.  Depression for me makes me not want to do anything at all, it completely changes the person that I am.  In the passed 2 weeks I've cooked a homeade dinner twice, which if anyone who knows me can tell you that I LOVE to cook, and I pretty much cook every night.  I can count on 1 hand how many times I've actually left the house in the last 2 weeks, most of those trips being on the weekend because I have not  left the house during the week at all.  I hate when I feel like a prisoner in my own body.  Also when I'm not on my depression meds, I have a very short fuse, I hate when that happens because I know my husband doesn't deserve the way I treat him when this happens.  Long story short, I'm very excited to go to doctor tomorrow to get my meds fixed so that I can get my life sort of back on track.  

Today I've started my "diet" again.  I don't really follow any certain diets really, just watch my portion control, and eat as much clean foods as possible.  I went to store yesterday and got all kinds of healthy snacks so that I can get my metabolism back on track by having small meals throughout the day.  I'm starting to get back into drinking  Green Tea instead of so much coffee, which I have several flavors to help me not get so bored with them.  Today I actually ordered SkinnyMint Tea Tox, and I chose the 28 day Tea Tox.  A friend of mine had used this specific brand and loved it, so anything that helps with bloating is great for me!  I got all of my Herbalife supplements in to help with hunger control and bloating and bathroom issues as well.  So really I feel super set to get back into the swing of things!  

Later today my hubby and I are going to go to the gym, which I'm excited because even tho we really don't workout together, it's still awesome going with him.  Gives me some sort of confidence knowing he's there!  And gives me a sexy guy to stare at when I'm lifting weights ;-)  He's really ready to get back on track too, so I know I'll have some help in getting back to it.  

I'm going to give myself a week of getting back on track and then weigh myself and measure myself.  I really haven't measured in along time, so that'll be interesting!  O_o  

Also as far as my workouts go, I'm going to kind of focus more on cardio then I have before.  I will still do booty and leg workouts, and a little bit of arm.  But I'm most likely not going to  go as hard on them for about the first month.  After that first month I'll start incorporating more of the strength training.  I know this sounds backwards, but this is just something I'm going to try for the 1st month.  

So here we go again...ugh I need a different phrase because I say that too much!  Atleast I haven't quit all together...positive thinking right?  

~Kylah~

*Currently my fav. mid-day snack:  Gluten free rice cake (this flavor is chocolate, never tried it before but HELLO chocolate, so of course I loved it), almond butter, and Green Tea (2 bags) Regular flavor and Purple Acai Blueberry.  Everything was super delicious and a low calorie snack!